"Because I said so..."

Mr. Mayo-- Here's my article for the 3rd paper!

“Because I Said So…”

In life, there are so many questions without answers. That’s just the way it is. In fact, life is choc full of rhetorical questions. There’s the classic, “Are you stupid, or something?” or the over-used, “Why me?”

However, in reality, most questions do have answers. It is our parents that would like us to believe otherwise. What I mean by this is, parents don’t have the answer, or even more likely, their answer is no with no good reason to back it up. It’s called the “Because I said so.”

You know you’ve all heard it, the end-all-be-all response to your simple questions, the ones that should always have a straight answer. The script goes like this:

“Can so-and-so- sleep over tonight?”
“No.”
“How come?”
“Because I said so.”

“Can I have that last piece of pizza instead of the fish?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because I said so.”

“Can I go to the party with you?”
“No.”
“Why not, I never get to come!”
“Because I said so.”

These are all coded messages in which lay a secret, and very truthful answer. It is one that they are either to unconventional or one that they are just too ashamed to admit. Fear not, I have broken the code.

What your parents really mean when they say “Because I said so,” is simply as follows:

“No, because I don’t feel like cooking them breakfast, and they eat me out of house and home.”

“No, I don’t care about your balanced diet, I’m saving the last piece of pizza for myself.”

“No, it's an adult party, there will be drinking, smoking, and bad language. We will be having way too much fun to babysit you.”

What parents don’t realize is that kids have a lot of respect for the honest answer… because our answers are the same. It would save whining, stomping, screaming, complaining, crying, and the ultimate door-slamming. If you ask me, telling your children that you are hoarding the last piece of pizza for yourself is better. They understand this, because they just took the last Reese’s Cup while you weren’t looking.

I have seen this happen on numerous occasions. Friends, family members, and classmates have all gotten the “Because I said so.” But, I can honestly say that my parents must be aliens, because I’ve never heard this, not once. I always get the truth. If I ask if so-and-so can spend the night, they’ll say, “No, they wake us all up at six in the morning!” If I ask for pizza, they’ll say “I already ate it.” And if I ask to go to an adult-only party, they’ll say, “Okay, but you’re sitting next to Mr. Stevens.” That gets me every time. Then, when they ask me why I’m staying home, I say, “Because I feel like it.”