First Article, 2nd MP: To Be or Not to Be

*Still has a few kinks, but it's basically done.

When you ask a small child, about kindergarten age or so, what they want to do when they grow up, you’re likely to get the same four answers: Veterinarian, Astronaut, Firefighter, and, last but not least, Ice-cream Man.

To be a veterinarian. What little kid doesn’t want to play with a small, cute, furry puppy? When they picture coming into the job, they see themselves playing with dogs, cuddly cats, and long-eared bunny rabbits. They think they’d make a lot of money for simple games. It seems the job would be all fun and games and the only work involved would be a well-placed band-aid now and then. Just remember, not all is what it seems.

Not to be a veterinarian. After 11 years or so of hard school work, internships, and studying, the job really starts. You walk into your first day and encounter blood, needles, feces, urine, and some grumpy animal owners. They don’t want to be at the vet, and if you’ve got a weak stomach, neither do you. Have you ever even pondered having to put down animals? Many kids would say, “Oh, I’ll just work with the animals, not with the killing of them.” Newsflash: You don’t have much of a choice.

To be an astronaut. That’s when you get to fly at the speed of light, bounce around in moon shoes, hang on a star, discover aliens, and encounter the Star Ship Enterprise. If a cow can jump over the moon, why can’t they? Why wish upon a star when you can fly past one? You’d get all those perks, plus free astronaut ice-cream. Just remember, not all is what it seems.

Not to be an astronaut. Astronaut ice-cream is actually very unappetizing, and before you can fly at the speed of light, you need hours of training in a pressurized vessel that makes you light-headed and gives you the strong urge to “blow chunks”. One that is completed, you need to be chosen to be on a spaceship. Let’s just say that there are quite a lot of people in line for that.
Have you ever ridden the Gravitron ride? Multiply that feeling by 1000, and you’ll have the approximate feeling of a takeoff. Who needs a facelift after a trip to space?

To be a firefighter. Free rides on the cool red truck, sliding down a metal pole, happy Dalmatian dogs, and unlimited amounts of water hoses for those hot summer days. Those are the thoughts running through the minds of children when they say, “I want to be a firefighter when I grow up.” Just remember, not all is what it seems.

Not to be a firefighter. Have you ever tried picking up a full grown man and carrying him out of a burning building, all while he was screaming and thrashing about frantically? I can’t imagine it’d be very enjoyable. How about that large trampoline that they catch people with? Does that really work, and how long to you really bounce up and down? Not to mention that you’d be a very smelly person at the end of a hard work day.

To be an ice-cream man. You’d get to ride around in a highly-decorated, musical truck all day long, all summer long. You’d get all the Firerockets and Chipwiches that you wanted, and you wouldn’t have to work when winter came. Talk about an ideal set-up. Just remember, not all is what it seems.

Not to be an ice-cream man. With this job, maybe everything is as it seems. What’s wrong with being an ice-cream man? You’d get to ride around in a highly-decorated (gaudy), (annoyingly) musical truck all day long, all summer long. You’d get all the Firerockets and Chipwiches that you wanted (as long as they came out of your paycheck), and you wouldn’t have to work when winter came (so now you’re unemployed). Talk about an ideal set-up (with screaming children).

So, I ask you Cab students: What do you want to be when you grow up? If the job is a veterinarian, astronaut, firefighter, or an ice-cream man, you now have both the good and the bad side of the job. If your future occupation is none of the above, think carefully about your choice… very carefully.